The Marauders' Papers
by lupin-is-awsum
Summary: Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.
1. Pudding!

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Reposted to revise.-

--Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling isthe genius, not me.--

* * *

Excerpt from Remus Lupin's Divination Homework

_Remus Lupin_

Describe your surroundings: _Well, I'm in the Gryffindor common room. A fire is burning in the fireplace. James is talking to Lily she doesn't look too thrilled. Sirius is jumping on the sofa like he usually_ _does at exactly 6:04 p.m._. _Peter is laughing at him. It's dark outside, looks like it might start raining soon. Lily just slapped James across the face...again. Now she stalked out of the room muttering something about James's big head. James is now sulking in an armchair. Sirius has now gotten off the sofa and is trying to cheer James up...doesn't seem to be working, really._

How could this affect your future? _Seeing as the clouds have begun to set in that obviously means rain tonight.

* * *

_

Transfiguration Class

**Hi Moony**

_What do you want Padfoot?_

**No need to be so snappy**

_Sorry, I'm just trying to pay attention, you should try it sometime._

**Like you need** **to pay attention. You've read the chapter three times already!**

_But the book doesn't explain it as well as McGonagall does._

**What is not listening to ONE lesson going to do to you Remus? hmmmmm?**

_Cost me five questions on O.W.L.s._

**Education disgusts me.** **As do you Remus...you and your learning**.

_Well then why don't you stop bugging me and write to someone else?_

**Maybe I will!**

**  
Jamsie! You'll write to me!**

_**Of course Sirius, paying attention is over rated. **_

**Exactly! So Prongs, how are ya buddy?**

_**Just dandy. And you, Padfoot my friend?**_

**I'm great! Thanks for asking. And do you know why I'm so great?**

_**Because there's a whole bunch of Slytherins sitting in front of us, meaning that they are all within aim of our wands? And that McGonagall is distracted in her office?**_

**Well actually it was because I ate pudding at lunch. But, your reason works just as well!**

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black

Crime: For transfiguring five Slytherin students into chimpanzees.

Punishment: Two rolls of parchment on why transfiguring fellow students is dangerous.

Additional Comments: Why chimpanzees?

Signed: Minerva McGonagall

_  
Detention once again Padfoot?_

**I thought you had to pay attention...**

_Sirius..._

**Yes Remus**

_Class is over_

**Oh**...

* * *

Potions Class

_**Evans...darling...how are you?**_

_Stop writing to me, Potter._

_**I'll stop writing to you if you'll go out with me**_

_How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone?_

_**Come on Evans...what's one little trip to Hogsmead with me going to hurt?**_

_NO POTTER! LEAVE ME ALONE!_

_**You know you want to...**_

_**Come on Evans write back.**_

_**I'm not going to stop until you write something**_

_**Are you getting tired of me throwing this paper at you yet?**_

_**Now?**_

_**Now?**_

_James, leave the girl alone...smoke is starting to come out of her ears...and we all know what will happen to you if she gets too mad._

_**She'll crack any day now and realize her true feelings for me.**_

_That's what you said last time._

_**Your point?**_

_That was the matchbox incident._

_**We needn't to mention that.

* * *

**_

Excerpt from James Potter's Journal

_**Dear Journal,**_

**_Lily looked at me today, with those beautiful...mesmerizing...brilliant green eyes. Sure her eyes were filled with anger and fury...but deep down we all know she loves me. Remus is now reading over my shoulder. I'm telling him to go away but the boy just won't listen. Now Sirius is coming over too. They won't leave me alone. Sirius is trying to get this away– from–me– _I like pudding! _Ignore that. That was Sirius. He's a git. Anyways onto the other important things of my day._**

_**Three Ravenclaws joined the OJPASBFC. That stands for the Obsessive James Potter And Sirius Black Fan Club. I'm not even kidding you...it's a real club...they have badges and everything. It's a little scary sometimes. I even think Remus has a fan club. He just doesn't like to admit it. I think it consists of the quiet girls in the library.**_

_**I'm working on a new technique to achieve ultimate hair scruffiness. It's the latest thing.

* * *

**_

Defense Against The Dark Arts Class

**Hullo Wormtail!**

_**Hi Sirius.**_

**Did you happen to take notes for History of Magic yesterday?**

_**I think so**_

**Would you mind letting me take an oh so tiny look at them?**

_**What happened to copying off of Moony?**_

**He hexed me...said something about me taking advantage of his brain...which is not true in the slightest way.**

_**Sure you can barrow mine**_

**Never mind Pete, I can't seem to read your handwriting**

_**Don't worry, neither can I.

* * *

**_

An excerpt from the assignment for Sirius Black and James Potter

**Why not to transfigure slimy, _gross, _disgusting, _and revolting, _Slytherins into Chimpanzees. **

**By Sirius Black and _James Potter_**

**McGonagall we realized that you assigned each of us our OWN assignment however _we found it pointless. You see Sirius and I share _the same brain so in order to _not waste parchment, _we've decided to _write the essay together. _We suppose we shouldn't transfigure fellow students (_even though they are utterly repulsive)_ because it's...um...against the school rules...and..._it can cause a great deal of damage to the people (_I wouldn't call them people...they're more like things)_ and..._it's not nice. _Now McGonagall we'd like to inform you of all the reasons we SHOULD transfigure them into chimpanzees._**

**1. Nobody likes them...not even you McGonagall...yes we've realized you don't like Slytherins.**

_**2. They'd do it to everyone else, if they had the skill.**_

**3. They look better as monkeys anyways.

* * *

**

Excerpt from Sirius Black's Divination Homework

**Sirius Black**

Describe Your Surroundings:** I'm in Divination class right now, about 30 seconds before I have to turn this assignment in. I can see Remus; he's reading a book...figures. James is busy finishing up on this assignment too...what a coincidence. Peter is staring blankly at the ceiling. There are armchairs all over the place...wait...I have no need to describe this classroom, you're in it all the time, Professor Melina. **

How could this affect your future?** I'll die tomorrow? I don't know...is that what you want me to write?

* * *

**

Excerpt From Remus Lupin's Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment

_Remus Lupin_

Describe a Werewolf: R-E-M-U-S L-U-P-I-N

* * *

Excerpt From James Potter's Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment

_**James Potter**_

Describe a Werewolf:** _A really nice and smart guy who can do just about anything. I'm serious, he can...like this one time he was able to help Sirius conquer his fear of pixies. Now THAT'S a miracle. Sirius has always been afraid of pixies, ever since they stole his pocket mirror and broke it. So...yes... a werewolf is an unlucky person who is in the wrong place at the wrong time, like someone I know.

* * *

_**

A/N: I hope this fanfiction has amused some of you. Feel free to read through my two other fanfictions. Oh, and reviews would be greatly appreciated. :)


	2. Cuteiful?

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling and these are not my characters.-

--Thank you for the reviews!--

* * *

History Of Magic

_**Moony, what rhymes with beautiful?**_

_You really need to stop with the love poems Prongs. _

_**How do you know I'm writing a love poem?**_

_Because beautiful is a synonym for glamorous, pretty, gorgeous, attractive, hot, cute, adorable, stunning, and breath taking. All of which you asked me for a rhyming word and all of which were love poems to Lily._

_**Maybe this poem is for Padfoot**_

_I really wouldn't put it past you to do that._

_**Not many people would actually.**_

_**Wait, I think I've got a word.**_

_**Roses are red,**_

_**violets are blue,**_

_**Lily is beautiful,**_

_**and cuteiful too.**_

_Cutieful isn't even a word, Potter. _

_

* * *

_

Excerpt from the journal of Remus Lupin

_Journal, _

_We had our first trip to Hogsmead last weekend. It was...interesting. I pity every Slytherin student in Hogwarts. James and Sirius replenished their supply of pranking items. Well, as of now they've already used about half of those items...they really can't hold on to anything can they? Like when I let Sirius borrow 49 of my quills last year. He lost every single one of them. No lie. _

_I received a 95 on our past exam in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I could've done better. _

_Pete just lost in wizard chess...again. He was attempting to win against Lily, but with no luck. It's odd, Lily and I have been talking more lately. Not as if we never talked before, it's just that we've come to realize all of our similar interests. She's a good person. And no, I don't like her. She's James's girl, well not really. But, if I ever made a move on Lily, James would curse the werewolf out of me. **Yes I would Moony, don't you forget that either. **James has become accustomed toreading over my shoulder and writing down his own thoughts. **Yes Remmy, yes I have. **_

**_

* * *

_**

Letters From the Summer

**My dearest Prongs,**

**I've been bored out of my mind here at home. My mum keeps yelling at me to do this and that, and it is really starting to get annoying. I've been getting SO bored that I've thought about reading a book...for fun. I know, it's scary. Maybe you can come over sometime, I've been thinking up various ways to throw Kretcher off the roof, all of which are brilliant I might add.**

**Love, **

**Padfoot**

_**My lovely Padfoot,**_

_**A BOOK! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND! Surely you can't be that bored. I'm sorry about your mum, parents can be real buggers sometimes. I would love to come over, but my dad says you have to ask your parents. He says he doesn't want another fiasco like last summer. Although it was humorous when your mum came running down the stairs, holding a broomstick, ready to beat me over the head with it because she thought I was an intruder. But, if it's ok, I would love to come over. Throwing Kretcher off the roof sounds like an excellent way to spend the afternoon. Beats last year when we threw him down the stairs.**_

_**Yours truly,**_

_**Prongs**_

**_

* * *

_**

Potions

_**Can you help me out with number ten Prongs?**_

_**What's number ten?**_

_**Our questions that we're supposed to be doing from the book.**_

_**Is that what everyone's doing right now? No wonder it's so quiet. What is the question asking?**_

"_**What happens when you drink Felix Felices?"**_

_**If I recall correctly, it gives the drinker extremely good luck for a certain amount of time.**_

_**Wow Prongs. You sounded like Moony.**_

_**Oh no, he's wearing off on me.**_

**And what is happening on this piece of parchment?**

_**I was asking James a question about our assignment.**_

**We're supposed to be doing an assignment? No wonder it's so quiet.**

_**Wormtail said I sounded like Moony. It can't be, can it Padfoot? I mean...he can't be rubbing off on me.**_

**I dunno Prongs, you've been using bigger words lately. And you haven't gotten detention in more than a week.**

_**Oh my goodness, it's true. That's it. I need to curse someone.**_

****

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter

Crime: Cursing Peter Pettigrew to grow a tail.

Punishment: Polishing the trophies

Additional Comments: **_James would like to state that it was an accident and he really didn't mean to curse Peter, he was more so aiming at Snape..._**.

Signed: Horace Slughorn

* * *

Honeydukes Receipt

4 Packets of Ice Mice...4 Sickles

4Boxes of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans...7 Sickles

57 Chocolate Frogs...6 Galleons

* * *

Muggle Studies

**What do you think we should do tonight? Seeing as what special night of the month it is.**

_It's not that special Padfoot._

_**Of course it is Moony. There's nothing that relieves stress like running around in Hogsmead at midnight.**_

_Be careful what you write down, you don't know who might see this. _

**Relax Moony, they won't know what we're talking about anyways. This is Marauder stuff.**

_I still don't think you should be doing this._

_**Doing what?**_

_This animagi stuff. It's too dangerous, how many times do I have to tell you?_

_**How many times do we have to tell you that we DON'T CARE.**_

**We're trying to make it easier for you Moony, and you know you can't tell us that it's not working.**

_It's working but it gives me a guilty conscious afterwards._

**Just ignore it, that's what James and I have always done.**

_I can tell._

_**Now that we know what we're going to do tonight (Hogsmead of course), what do you guys want to do this afternoon?**_

_**Continue working on the Marauders Map?**_

**Good idea Wormtail. We need to put some more enchantments on that thing.**

_Like?_

_**Code words.**_

_Code words?_

**Yeah, like one to open the map, and one to close it.**

_Ah, any suggestions?_

**Padfoot's the greatest**

_**Prongs is the mightiest.**_

**Slytherins are slimy**

_**Lily is pretty**_

_I shouldn't have asked you guys for suggestions..._

_

* * *

_

Astronomy

_Remus, can you please tell Black to stop drawing hearts around my initials and Potter's, with his wand_

_Lily, you know he won't listen to me._

_Please?_

_Fine, hold on._

_Sirius would like me to inform you that he can drawwhatever he wants to draw and you can't stop him. _

_Fine, can you please inform Black that I will hex him so bad he'll not even remember how to draw if he continues._

_Yes, I'll tell him...hold on_

_Sirius says he'll stop. _

_

* * *

_

A/N: Review please, it brightens my day.


	3. Code 275

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling. These characters are not mine.-

--Any suggestions? Feel free to ask.--

* * *

Excerpt from Peter Pettigrew's Journal

_**Journal,**_

_**Today James, Sirius, and I all successfully mastered the animagi transformation. Well, they had to help me through it, but that's ok. The point is, is that I'm actually able to do something complicated and impressive. Although I'm still nervous about seeing Remus as a werewolf, who could bite me at any moment if he felt like it. Oh, by the way, I'm a rat...isn't that great. I was hoping for a lion or something, but oh well, perhaps being a rat will come in handy sometime.**_

_**I managed to pass my Transfiguration exam, thanks to Remus who started tutoring me since the beginning of term. McGonagall was extremely pleased, saying I could do anything if I would just put my mind to it.**_

_**Alright, I got to go, Sirius is hitting me in the head with a book. Apparently its dinner time and Sirius is hungry.

* * *

**_

Charms

_**REMUS, WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!**_

_What is it James? And you do realize that we sit on opposite sides of the classroom? I'm still trying to figure out a way to get this slip of parchment back to you._

_**DON'T BOTHER WITH RANDOM QUESTIONS! WE HAVE A CODE 275 ON OUR HANDS!**_

_Not again...what did it involve this time?_

_**Think the worst Moony**_

_Oh no, it's the hair, parents, and pixies isn't it?_

_**And Slytherins**_

_Great, it'll take Sirius weeks to get over this. Full details please._

_**Sirius was sleeping about 10 minutes ago. He was twitching too, which meant he was dreaming. He woke up frantically. I had to hush him before he got in trouble by Flitwick. Anyways, I guess, it was another one of his dreams. According to what I can infer, in his dream, a group of Slytherins, and his parents, trapped him in a corner, cut his hair, and then unleashed a dozen or so pixies.**_

_Is he in the hyperventilating stage right now?_

_**From what I can tell. **_

_Alright, what you need to do is assure him that no one is going to cut his hair off, and that pixies aren't going to attack him._

_**What about his parents and Slytherins?**_

_Um...remind him that he has the ability to beat any Slytherin in a duel of any sort. And also tell him that his parents are close to disowning him as it is; they don't even like to speak to him anymore. I'm going to send something over to Wormtail. He needs to know about this._

_**Good idea, I'll respond as soon as he hits his revenge stage.**_

_Wormtail, code 275_

_**Again?**_

_Parents, cut hair, pixies, and Slytherins._

_**That's worse then last time. What stage is he in?**_

_Last time I checked it was the hyperventilating stage. _

_**Is James tending to him?**_

_Yeah. From what I can see, James got a pocket mirror to show Sirius that his hair is still long. _

_**Good thing class is ending soon.**_

_I pity the first Slytherin he runs into. He'll want revenge. _

_**He really needs to learn the difference between dreams and reality.**_

_This is Sirius, Wormtail, do you really think that'll happen anytime soon?

* * *

_

History of Magic

**Prongs, I'm bored.**

_**So am I Padfoot my friend, so am I.**_

**Look at Moony, acting all interested.**

**_Well, it is Moony after all_.**

**I don't know how that boy does it. There isn't one day that I haven't fallen asleep in this class.**

_**We all know Padfoot; we can hear your snoring.**_

**Do you think anything would happen if I threw a book through Professor Binns?**

_**Dunno. Wanna find out?**_

Detention

Culprit(s): Sirius Black and James Potter

Crime: Throwing books through me, Professor Binns

Punishment: Polishing the trophies, without magic.

Additional Comments: ---

Signed: Binns

* * *

Dinner

_**Hi Moony, Padfoot, and Wormtail.**_

_May I inquire to why you are writing to us, during dinner?_

**I know why.**

_Why?_

**Evans cursed his mouth shut for the remaining part of the day. **

_**Stop laughing at me, Moony.**_

_It's been a long time coming mate._

_**She's been ticked off at you since first year. **_

**Yeah, when you attempted to "sweep her off her feet", literally.**

_And then when you attempted to make her "fall heads over heels in love", literally._

**_Ah the good old days._ _Wormtail, could you pass me the ham?_**

_**Sure Prongs.**_

_**Oh looky here comes Lily.**_

_Why don't you ever call her Lily when talking to her?_

_**Takes away from my image.**_

_Your image._

_**Yes, my image. Moony, can you tell Lily I would still love to take her out to Hogsmead. **_

_No, you tell her._

_**I can't.**_

_Then write to her or something._

_**Evans, I would still love to take you to Hogsmead.**_

_Would you like me to curse your hand off?_

_**Not in particular. But if it means you'll go out with me...**_

_Not on your life Potter._

_**What about Remus's?**_

_Thanks James, thanks for offering up MY life so you could possibly get a date with Lily._

_**What are friends for?**_

_Not Remus's life either, Just leave me alone, please. _

_**You know I won't do that.**_

_If you don't stop writing to me, I will curse off your hand._

_**No, you won't.**_

_Try me._

_**Fine, fine. Goodbye my love, for now. Hope you have a splendid dinner.

* * *

**_

Excerpt from Sirius Black's Charms Essay.

**Sirius Black**

**I chose to do my Charms essay on the Tickling charm. This charm makes the target laugh uncontrollably. I've actually used it a few times. Well, more then a few times. It's an excellent way to shut someone up without really breaking any rules (at Hogwarts anyways). I have learned from experience to not leave the Tickling charm on for too long, as it tends to cause uncontrollable coughing fits. If anyone wants to use a Tickling charm, I say to try it out on Snivellus, I mean, Severus Snape. He looks really funny when he's laughing because you can tell that he doesn't laugh often. His face contorts into something like an odd smile that's not really a smile. You can tell it pains him really to laughAnd then his greasy hair goes in his face...and well, it's hard to explain, but it's really funny to watch. Just be ready to run when you take the charm off him. He knows just as much curses as 7th years.

* * *

**

Herbology

_**Prongs, what are you doing?**_

_**Seeing if Lily will notice me.**_

_**By flexing your muscles and smiling?**_

_**It works for the other girls.**_

_**Haven't you learned that Lily isn't like other girls?**_

_**You're right; she's better**_

_**I would run if I were you Prongs.**_

_**And why is that?**_

_**She's got her wand out.**_

_**Maybe she's going to confess her love to me by magic.**_

_**For some reason, I highly doubt that,**_

_**You've been listening to Moony too much.**_

_**No, I just remember what happened before.**_

_**No need to mention that.**_

_**The matchbox incident.**_

_**I told you not to mention that.

* * *

**_

A/N: One of these days I'll get around to writing down what exactly the matchbox incident was. For now, use your imagination. Review please. It makes me smile.


	4. The Matchbox Incident

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Disclaimer: I'm still not J.K. Rowling and these are still not my characters.-

* * *

Potions

**Moony,** **can you ask James to pass me the lacewing flies?**

_Will you and James end this fight anytime soon._

**No.**

_You ask him, I don't want to get involved with your quarrel._

**But Moony, I can't talk to him. He's not talking to me remember?**

_Fine, just this ONCE I'll give him the message._

_--_

_Prongs, Padfoot would like you to pass the lacewing flies._

_**What if I don't want to pass it to that pureblood freak.**_

_James, that was a bit harsh don't you think._

_**No.**_

_You're a pureblood too you know._

_**But not as big as a pureblood as he is.**_

_How can you be "bigger" than someone else when you're BOTH purebloods_

_**I dunno, but I'm sure you can.**_

_Will you two please just resolve this thing?_

_**No. Sirius should've remembered that it was my day to curse Snivellus.**_

_You know, this really is a stupid reason to throw away a friendship._

_**We aren't throwing it away, we're just putting it on hold. **_

_Do you really need me to make you feel guilty, because you know I can._

_**Try me.**_

_Who was there when you bought your first dungbomb?_

_**Sirius.**_

_Who has been supportive for you and Lily through everything?_

_**Sirius. **_

_Who gave you that Comet 360 last year?_

_**Sirius. Fine, Remus, you win.**_

--

_**Padfoot, I'm sorry for getting mad at you yesterday.**_

**Aw Prongs, I'm sorry for taking your day to jinx Snivellus.**

_**I shouldn't have overreacted. I mean, we could've both cursed him and it would've been just as good.**_

**Friends again?**

_**Of course.**_

_Hallelujah.

* * *

_

Marauder's Code of Conduct

1. All Slytherins are disgusting and all should be hated with a passion.

2. Pranking is a necessity.

3. Must have the ability to keep a secret.

4. Making a move on Lily Evans is forbidden unless you are Prongs.

5. Must have a cool nickname.

6. Respect the fears and challenges for fellow Marauders.

7. Teachers are fun to mess with, do it at least once a week.

8. Stick up for fellow Marauders.

9. Do not refer to Moony's furry little problem as "that time of the month".

10. Marauders first, everything else, second.

* * *

Birthday Cards

_**Dearest Remmy,**_

_**You're all grown up now. I remember when you were a little first year and were only like a foot tall. Now look at you, 16 years old and a gazillion feet tall. Gosh Moony, you're getting so old, next thing you know you'll be off getting married and having mini werewolves running around. Remember when we found the Room of Requirement? I can remember it like it was yesterday, well actually, now that I remember, it was yesterday. Hm. Anyways, I hope you like the gift I bought you, and if you don't then pretend to like it anyways. Can you see my present? It's the one with the "I love Lily" wrapping paper.**_

_**Prongs**_

_Peter,_

_Happy birthday! 13 years old now! I want to thank you for being the only other sane person in our group. Sirius and James would've led me to murder myself had you not been there. I hope your year of being 13 will be as good as the year you turned 12. I bought your gift in Diagon Alley before term started, I hope you like it. _

_Remus

* * *

_

Random Detentions

Detention

Culprit(s): Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black

Crime: Hosting the largest Exploding Snap game that resulted in twenty students sent to the hospital wing for injuries.

Punishment: Cleaning the Great Hall where the game was held, without magic.

Additional Comments: Who won?

Signed: Minerva McGonagall

--

Detention

Culprit(s); Peter Pettigrew

Crime: Breaking, yet another, tea cup.

Punishment: two rolls of parchment on the art of Divination

Additional Comments: ---

Signed: Marigold Melina

--

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black

Crime: Turning the fourth floor corridor into an ice rink.

Punishment: Serving dinner to the Professors, manually

Additional comments: Nice clothes will be necessary.

Signed: Pomona Sprout

* * *

Herbology

**_Do you think I can hit Snivillus with a Bat-Bogey_ _hex from here?_**

_Haven't you hexed him enough over the years?_

_**You can never hex Snivelly enough.**_

_Have you ever considered being humanly towards him?_

_**No. And I never will. He isn't humanly to me.**_

**Or me either Moony.**

_**Me neither.**_

_When did you two get involved in the conversation, Sirius and Peter? And besides, aren't you supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated?_

_**Which is exactly what Snivelly does.**_

**Yeah, he treats us badly, so obviously he wants to be treated that way too.**

_**What they said.**_

_You're never going to give him a break are you?_

**Now where would the fun be in that?

* * *

**

Excerpt from Sirius Black's Journal

**Journal, journal, journal,**

**You'll never guess what happened the other day to James. It was the FUNNIEST thing I have ever seen. James doesn't like me to talk about it when he's around, so I'll write it down instead. **

**So, James suddenly got the brilliant idea note the sarcasm to spell out "I Love Evans" with fire. Yes, fire. He somehow got a hold of matches, spelled it out, and lit it on fire. Well, Evans was furious, probably because he happened to put the matches on her book I don't remember what it was called...oh well, not important. So she tried to rescue her book, but her hair caught on fire in the process. James tried to help by blasting her with water, but then she just got madder then ever. Smoke started coming out of her ears, and then, without her wand, she transfigured James into a matchbox. No joke. Remus had to transform him back. Oh, by the way, this was also in front of pretty much every Gryffindor in the common room. Yeah, James is still touchy whenever we mention anything about that incident. **

**Onto other things of the day that actually have to do with me. This third year Hufflepuff tried to make me fall in love with her by a love potion. It was in my pudding at lunch. I don't understand how she found out about my love of pudding, hm. Thank goodness Peter saw her pour it in there...otherwise I'd probably be out of my mind right now, looking for Felicity Grand. I'm still confused about how she found out...stalker.**

A/N: Please review, it makes me optimistic.


	5. McGonagall's Hat & Stairs

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Disclaimer: I'm still not J.K. Rowling and these are still not my characters.-

--To those who are wondering, these papers are not in any particular order. Some are in fifth, some in second, some in seventh, etc.–

* * *

Excerpt from the Journal of James Potter

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Today I had my O.W.L.s. Simple things they were really, they were practically a joke. I had a fun time with Snivellus afterwards. Lily got angry. She told me as was bad as Snivellus, which is completely incorrect. He called her a you-know-what too. Nasty piece of work he is, really. Writing all this down really makes me wants to curse him again, but I'm all the way up here in Gryffindor tower, and he's already the way down in the Slytherin dungeons. That's way to much energy to spend for Snivelly.**_

_**Lily knows she loves me, she's just in denial...still.

* * *

**_

Transfiguration

**Guess what I'm buying tomorrow.**

_**What Padfoot?**_

_Yes, please inform us._

**An owl!**

_**Ooo. It can be friends with my owl!**_

_**What are you going to name it Padfoot?**_

**I'm thinking about naming it Sirius Jr.**

_Naming it after yourself Pads? That figures._

_**That's what I almost did too! James Jr., I still think it has a nice ring to it.**_

_Why don't you name your owl something normal, Sirius?_

**Because I don't know any other names.**

_**Look around for ideas.**_

**I got it!**

_**Sooo...**_

**McGonagall's Hat**

_What! That's going to be the name of your owl!_

**Yes, yes it is.**

_**I like it.**_

_**Whatever you say Padfoot, whatever you say.

* * *

**_

Zonkos Receipt

73 Dungbombs...13 Galleons

29 Hiccup Sweets...3 Galleons

17 Bars of Frog Spawn Soap...1 Galleons

37 Nose-biting Teacups...4 Galleons

* * *

Excerpt from the Diary of Lily Evans

_Diary,_

_I have five words for you. James Potter is a prat. And a big one at that too. He's always making commotions during lessons and I'm fed up with it. This has been going on for five years. FIVE! One, two, three, four, FIVE. I seriously don't know how I'm going to survive the next two years of school. Not to mention that Black is a clone of Potter, splendid. Pushing people around for no good reason, it sickens me. You know what Potter did today? He decided to curse Severus, for no good reason at all. None whatsoever. I am utterly repulsed._

_Remus and Peter on the other hand the other half of the "Marauders", are alright. I have to say that I personally like Remus the most. He knows a little word called respect. And he's smart too. And he doesn't set my books on fire. Peter is just there. He is a great guy to talk too. People don't talk to him as much as they should. He's a good guy with a good heart._

_Objective of the week: Destroy that bloody Snitch that Potter has. It drives me insane.

* * *

_

Defense Against the Dark Arts

_Where did James and Sirius sneak off to, Worms?_

_**No idea, I'm guessing they ditched again.**_

_I figured as much._

_**I think I remember Padfoot talking about sneaking down to the Slytherin common room.**_

_What for? They've already jinxed that place who knows how many times. And it's not like them to repeat a prank they've pulled within the last two years._

_**Hold on, I remember now. Padfoot said they were going to attempt to tame the giant squid again.**_

_Again! Last time they tried that, they almost drowned._

_**And not because of the giant squid.**_

_Yeah, it's because they forgot that they couldn't swim. Knowing those two, they probably forgot again._

_**Should we sneak out of class?**_

_I suppose, but over summer, I'm giving them swimming lessons._

_**That would probably be best.

* * *

**_

Rejected insults from the Marauder's Map

_Mister Moony would like to say that Mister Moony is glad that Professor MeGonagall is still a professor at Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall was Mister Moony's favorite, afterall._

**Mister Padfoot would like to tell Mister Moony that the Marauder's are supposed to be insulting said professor, not praising.**

_**Mister Prongs would like to agree with Mister Padfoot, but would like to add that Mister Moony is a suck up.**_

_**Mister Wormtail would like to point out that the Marauder's are supposed to be insulting Professor McGonagall, not Mister Moony**_

****

_Mister Moony would like to say that Professor Binns has no right to read the Marauder's Map, considering that Professor cannot even hold said map._

**Mister Padfoot is proud that Mister Moony finally came up with a decent insult.**

_**Mister Prongs would like to announce that Miss Lily looked over at Mister Prongs. Mister Prongs could've sworn that Mister Prongs saw the look of love in Miss. Lily's eyes.**_

_**Mister Wormtail would like to state that the Marauders were off to a good start at insulting Professor Binns, however the insulting was cut short by Mister Prongs love for Miss. Lily...again.

* * *

**_

Divination

_**Prongs, what is Padfoot doing?**_

_**No idea, looks like he's going to try to swoon Alice Gretcher.**_

_**Isn't she with Frank Longbottom?**_

_**Has that ever stopped Padfoot from making a move on a girl?**_

**_Well no..._**

_**Hey look, she might be buying his pick-up line of the week.**_

_**Maybe, but I think Frank has figured out what Pads is doing.**_

_**Frank doesn't look too happy.**_

_**He's got his wand out.**_

_**Oh, if this involves a girl, it'll go way past a couple hexes.**_

Detention

Culprit(s): Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom

Crime: Fist fighting in class.

Punishment: Black: cleaning the bedpans, without magic. Longbottom: polishing the trophies, without magic.

Additional Comments:Black, stop advancing on girls that aren't yours.

Signed:Marigold Melina

* * *

Charms

_**Sirius why do you look so depressed?**_

**It's, it's McGonagall's Hat!**

_**What happened Padfoot?**_

**He flew away...**

_With a name like that I'd fly away too._

**Thanks Moony, that just makes me feel LOADS better.**

_No problem Padfoot._

_**I'm sure he'll show up, my owl left for a month once.**_

_**Is that when you put up flyers? And then you had to wrestle your owl back into it's cage. **_

_**Yes.**_

_Ever consider that it wanted to be free?_

_**That's preposterous.**_

_Prongs, you named your owl Stairs._

_**Stairs is a great name.**_

**Gosh Moony, I guess we all know who has good taste in owl names**.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews from last chapter! More are always welcome!


	6. Never Swallow Floo Powder

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-All belongs to J.K. Rowling, except my imagination-

--Thanks to my wonderful reviewers, I'm glad you like the story--

* * *

An Excerpt From James Potter's Muggle Studies Essay

_**James Potter**_

_**The car. It is a use of Muggle transportation. The car uses an engine to transport itself, on wheels, down a street. I really think this invention is pointless. Portkeys and Floo powder are so much easier. Well, actually, I dislike Floo powder. A tip for anyone who is using said powder, do not, I repeat, do NOT swallow it. I learned the hard way. It was a dare that Sirius made me do, and since I didn't want to back down, I did it. Instead of the fire turning into green flames, I turned into green flames. It would've been pretty awesome had it not hurt as much as it did. I think Sirius got a picture of it too. Mental note, find that picture and destroy it before he shows it to Lily.

* * *

**_

Excerpt From The Journal of Remus Lupin

_Journal,_

_Another day, another detention. I'm starting to get the feeling that Prongs and Padfoot have a bad influence on me. I don't know what led me to help make the biggest exploding snap game in Hogwarts history. I was upstairs studying and then the next thing I know I was in the Great Hall laughing at Sirius when his eyebrows got singed. Too bad the Gryffindors lost. Ravenclaws had the odd ability of being able to whip anyone in Exploding Snap. Who would've thought. We might've done better had James and Sirius focused on the game rather than focusing on changing Snape's hair color. McGonagall wasn't as mad as I thought she would be. I think I saw a smile for a second. But, that didn't last long. James, Sirius, Peter, and I all have detention for a week. We have to clean the Great Hall, which shouldn't take too long. Oh wait, Peter, who is standing next to me, reading over my shoulder I really have no privacy at all here, reminded me that we aren't allowed to use magic during our detention. Ay, this is going to be a dull week._

_A weird thing happened to Peter the other day, but I'll have to write about that later. It's detention time.

* * *

_

Divination

**Prongs...I have to go to the bathroom.**

_**Thanks for sharing Pads.**_

**But, but, Professor Melina won't let me leave to go.**

_**Figures, after the incident involving you, an empty hallway, a candle, and a suit of armor.**_

**But this time I really have to go!**

_**Don't go complaining to me.**_

**Fine.**

**---**

**Wormtail, I have to go to the bathroom.**

_**I really didn't need to know that Padfoot.**_

**When's class going to be over?**

_**In a half an hour or so I think.**_

**I can't wait that long!**

_**I don't know what to tell you Padfoot.**_

**Fine, I'll ask the smart one for advice.**

**---**

**Moony, I have to go to the bathroom.**

_Thanks for letting me know Padfoot._

**But I do!**

_I told you not to drink that gallon of pumpkin juice._

**I was thirsty!**

_Well, you should've thought about this problem in advance._

**Mooooony, you know I don't do things like that.**

_Yes, I know._

**Help me Moony!**

_Fine, fine, just because I don't want you wetting yourself in the middle of class._

**Thank you so much Moony!**

_Yeah, yeah. I'll distract and you can slip out the door. I can't believe I'm getting a detention for you._

Detention

Culprit(s): Remus Lupin

Crime: Transfiguring all the tea cups into mice.

Punishment: Catching all the mice...all 27 of them.

Additional Comments: Why Remus? You were such a good boy...

Signed:Marigold Melina

* * *

An Excerpt from Peter Pettigrew's Muggle Studies Essay

_**Peter Pettigrew**_

_**I chose to do my essay on the muggle item, a flashlight. It does pretty much the same thing that "lumos" does, except it doesn't use magic. Usually it uses something called batteries. The only time I've used a flashlight was when I was at Remus's house over the summer, with James and Sirius. James and Sirius threw their wands up in a tree in an attempt to get a quaffle out of the tree. It soon turned nighttime so I ran into the Lupin house and found a flashlight. Then I couldn't figure out how to turn it on and neither could Sirius or James. Actually I don't think any of us knew what exactly it was. Anyways, Remus came outside he was helping his mum make dinner, and looked at us like we were a bunch of idiotic baboons, and he turned on the flashlight. James, Sirius, and I were in awe. Then he used the summoning charm to get everything out of the tree. The flashlight was pretty pointless actually. James, Sirius, and I were all too stupid to think about using a summoning charm. Thank goodness for Remus.

* * *

**_

History of Magic

**Hi Evans**

_What do you want Black? I'm trying to pay attention_

**Goodness Evans, you're like Remus. **

_I'll take that as a compliment actually. Now, what's the real reason you're writing to me?_

**I wanted to ask you if you'll go out with James**

_So he thought that he would have better luck with you asking me for him?_

**I suppose. After all, I do get all the ladies.**

_It amazes me how many stupid girls go to this school._

**They're not stupid! Well except for Jenna, she couldn't make anything levitate. ANYTHING! And she was in fourth year too!**

_Thanks for that wonderful story, Black. Now, tell Potter to bugger off. I don't like him and I don't want to go out with him._

**Come on Evans. Give him a chance will you? **

_Let me think...no._

**Do it for me! For Peter! For Remus! Then maybe Jamsie will shut up and stop talking about you as much as he does. I swear, I've heard you described as everything from mesmerizing to gorgeous. He's really smitten with you.**

_Well, too bad. I know he can move on. While his head is inflated as much as it is, he can forget about any chance he has with me._

**Please Evans? PLLLLEASE go out with him!**

_NO! And if you keep bugging me I'll push you off of the Astronomy tower._

**I've actually already done that. **

_I'm not surprised_

**I was trying to really impress this girl...who was she...darn, I can't remember, anyways...**

_I really don't care, Black. Really, I don't._

**Yes you do. Anyways, so I was about to jump off when James, Remus, and Peter came rushing up the stairs. Remus was trying to get me down and James was just laughing at me. Well, Remus talked me out of it and I was about to get down when I slipped and fell off. Good thing Dumbledore saw me falling, he slowed me down a bit. Good man Dumbledore, he is. I'm really glad he's headmaster. If he wasn't I probably would've been expelled at least twenty times by now, and I'm only in my fifth year. Who knows what I'll do next year, or the year after that. **

_Lily left, Sirius._

**Why? I was telling her a great story.**

_I don't think she really cared._

**Yes she did, she just didn't want to admit it. So what's she doing now? Saying yes to James huh...isn't she? It's because of my great persuasion skills.**

_Actually, Sirius, she is._

_---_

_**What happened to Sirius? Looks like he's fainted.**_

_Because I said that Lily said yes to you taking her out._

_**She did! When?**_

_No, she didn't James. I just wanted to mess with Sirius's head. It obviously worked._

_**Mine and Lily's relationship is not something to be mocked, Remus.**_

_I see no relationship, well I suppose it's a love-hate relationship. Meaning you love her and she hates you. Is this the relationship you are writing about Prongs? It sure sounds like an excellent theng to mock if you ask me._

_**Shut up Remus.

* * *

**_

A/N: Oh the mysteries...what did Sirius do with an empty hallway, a candle, and a suit of armor? And what weird thing happened to Peter? It shall be revealed later, when I think of a good enough story. Anywho, please review...it'll be a nice Christmas present!


	7. Papers from Christmas

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Disclaimer: I'm still not J.K. Rowling and these are still not my characters.-

--A bit of irony ahead--

* * *

Defense Against The Dark Arts

_Why do you two have mistletoe charmed above your heads?_

**Because it's Christmas.**

_**And the best part of Christmas is the mistletoe.**_

**And this is the day James and I can help the female population. One free kiss, or more depending on who you are, for FREE! **

_**And everyone knows that all the girls in this school would give anything to get a kiss from one of us.**_

_**Not EVERY girl.**_

_**Well besides Lily, Wormtail.**_

**And we're also doing this because James and I are having a competition to see who can get kissed the most by the end of the day.**

_**I think Wormtail and Moony should get into the game.**_

_I don't think so_

**I agree with Prongsie boy. You two could use a bit of lovin'.**

_I really think I'm fine without it Sirius._

_**What about you Wormtail?**_

_**Oy, sure why not.**_

**YAY FOR WORMTAIL! BOO FOR MOONY!**

_**Come on Moony, you know you wanna join in.**_

**Peer pressure, peer pressure!**

_**Come on Moony, if I'm doing it then you have to!**_

_I really don't HAVE to do anything._

**You just think you're going to LOSE don't you.**

_I know I'd lose._

_**That's not necessarily true. The library girls absolutely adore you.**_

**PLEASE MOONY?**

_Your use of capital letters does not help, Padfoot._

_**Do something fun in your life Remus.**_

_I'm only in 6th year, I have other times to have fun._

**If you don't...I'll reveal your secret.**

_No you wouldn't._

**I'm not talking about THAT secret. I'm talking about the other one.**

_**Mister Snuffles would want you play this game.**_

_How did you find out about Mr. Snuffles._

**We have our ways...so Remus, what do you say?**

_Fine, fine...but know this, I WILL get you back for this._

_**We figured as much, you are a Marauder after all.

* * *

**_

Christmas Cards

_Padfoot,_

_Merry Christmas! I'm very grateful to have you as a friend, no matter how many times I tell you to "be quiet" or "start studying". You've made me laugh and almost forget what I am. You're a great person, through and through. Except for the time when you thought it would be funny watching me freeze on top of the castle last New Years because I wouldn't do a dare that you asked me to. Aside from that, you're a great guy. And, again, Merry Christmas._

_Your Friend,_

_Remus Lupin_

---

_**Wormtail,**_

**_It's been a while eh? You've been a part of the Marauder's since first year. Now we're in 6th year. We've had so many good times, buddy. Now with Voldemort on the rise, I suppose it is good to have friends like you, Moony, and Padfoot. Who knows what trouble we'll be getting ourselves into. Merry Christmas, Peter, and lets hope there are many more to come! _**

_**Your pal,**_

_**James.**_

_**P.S. You'll like my gift I promise...it's the one with the, well you can figure out which present is mine. The wrapping paper is the same every year. **_

---

**PRONGSIE!**

**Well this is our last Christmas here at Hogwarts. It's a bit depressing. In only half a year we'll be out in the real world...supposedly making a living for ourselves and getting a job. I don't know who in their right mind would hire a couple of Marauders, but we'll wait and see. Hopefully being Aurors works out, then we get to curse the heck out of Death Eaters all the time. Oh the joy. Well Prongs, it's been a good 17 years. You've been my best mate since as long as I could remember. I don't know who else would let me live in their house, your parents must be crazy. You even managed to land yourself a nice girl. I don't know what triggered Lily (my goodness, I actually wrote LILY instead of EVANS) to go out with you, but I'm glad it worked out this way. You two can get married! I call being your best man Jamsie. Moony and Wormtail can be ushers or something.**

**Merry Christmas James!**

**Love your best friend in the whole wide world who is expecting a REALLY good present from you this year,**

**Sirius Black

* * *

**

Potions

_**Hey Sirius, what did you get me for Christmas?**_

**I'm not telling you...that would ruin the surprise!**

_**But I want the surprise to be ruined!**_

**You say the same thing every year.**

_**And you eventually always end up telling me, every year.**_

**This year is going to be different.**

_**That's what you said last Christmas.**_

**I ALMOST didn't tell you. I wouldn't have if you hadn't bribed me!**

_**You need to learn to resist the temptation of pudding, mate.**_

---

_**Remus, what are you getting me for Christmas?**_

_I'm not telling you James_

_**WHY NOT!**_

_Because, you have to wait, like everyone else._

_**I'll tell you what I got you.**_

_Stop with the bribes, that only works on Sirius._

_**I'll give you a book!**_

_There are plenty in the library to read._

_**Haven't you read them all by now?**_

_No, I'm still working on it. I'm a quarter done, which means I should be done by the time I graduate...unless I decide to tackle the Restricted Section. If I do that I need to double my reading time in order to finish the regular books by 5th year. Hm._

_**As much as I loved that information...I would much rather want to know what you got me for Christmas.**_

_If you don't stop asking I'm going to return the present I already got you and get you a big BOOK instead._

_**So the present you got me is returnable.**_

_James..._

_**Right, right...I'm going, I'm going.**_

---

_**Hey Peter**_

_**I'm not telling you, James**_

_**How do you know I was going to ask you something? What if I was going to tell you that Lily and I are going out.**_

_**Peter, stop rolling around the ground laughing.

* * *

**_

Transfiguration

**James, do you think any of the professors at Hogwarts actually have REAL lives?**

_**I really don't know. They seem to be in school mode 24/7.**_

**I wonder what they do for Christmas.**

_**Stay at Hogwarts and make lesson plans probably.**_

**Aw, poor professors. We should get McGonagall a present.**

_**But what?**_

**Hm. Maybe a new hat. And no, I do not mean an owl.**

_**Maybe a new quill.**_

**Why would she need a new quill? I'm sure she has tons of them.**

_**I don't know! I'm just giving ideas.**_

**I've got it!**

_**What?**_

**COUPONS! **

_**For what?**_

**I'll show you.**

–**Coupon–**

**For five free yells at Sirius Black without Sirius Black talking back.**

_**Do you really think she'll use those?**_

---

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black

Crime: Passing notes in class

Punishment: Cleaning the bedpans

Additional Comments: Don't talk back when I give you a detention!

Signed: Minerva McGonagall

---

**Yes, I do think she'll use those coupons...**

_**I guess so.**_

---

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black

Crime: Passing notes...again

Punishment: Cleaning the bedpans...again

Additional Comments: I just gave you two a detention 2 minutes ago! Don't you two ever learn?

Signed: Minerva McGonagall.

* * *

James's Version of "Jingle Bells"

_**Dashing through the halls,**_

_**pranking on the way,**_

_**Filch is right behind,**_

_**we're trying to get away.**_

_**Peter just got caught,**_

_**because he is so slow,**_

_**Remus took a right,**_

_**and where did Sirius go?**_

---

_**Jingle Bells,**_

_**Snivillus smells,**_

_**I cursed him once again,**_

_**he looks mad,**_

_**so I think I'll run,**_

_**laughing all the way.**_

_**Lily's here,**_

_**she looks nice,**_

_**I really like her hair.**_

_**Oh my gosh,**_

_**she's got her wand,**_

_**I better get out of here.**_

---

_**Running throughout Hogsmead,**_

_**because Sirius had a plan,**_

_**it was our first time going,**_

_**but we were all banned.**_

_**We found a secret passage,**_

_**in order to not be seen,**_

_**we dressed up like girls,**_

_**because Sirius told us too and somehow we agreed and now I'm regretting it because a skirt is very uncomfortable and makeup is annoying and we're running away from Filch who is chasing us because Sirius blew our cover and we need to get back into the common room before people know we're gone. And this was a really long line and I don't think it really fits but who really gives a care anyways?

* * *

**_

A/N: Hope you liked it. Just in time for the holidays! Like I said before...reviews are a very nice present.


	8. Charades

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Not JK Rowling, please don't sure me-

--Anyone have suggestions on what the Marauders should talk about? Please let me know!--

* * *

Excerpt From the Journal of Peter Pettigrew

_**Journal,**_

**_Sirius pushed me in the lake, in January. I'm cold. That's all I'm writing because my hand is shaking too much._ So I'll write for you Peter! And I didn't push you into the lake, you just fell in and I just happened to give you a little nudge. Besides, James told me too. And if it makes you feel better, Remus gave me a lecture afterwards about how you could've gotten sick and died. Good thing you didn't, huh**

_**Yeaaaah.

* * *

**_

Lunch

_**Hi Moony!**_

_Why are you writing me...uh oh did Lily curse your mouth shut?_

_**No. Prongs, Padfoot, and I are having a competition to see who can not talk the longest.**_

_**Hi Moony!**_

_Hi Prongs._

**Hi Moony!**

_Hi Padfoot._

_**How are you today Moony?**_

_Just fine, and how are you three?_

_**Good.**_

**Tired.**

_**Hungry.**_

_We are at lunch Prongs, you can eat._

_**I'm afraid if I open my mouth words will come out and then I'll lose the game.**_

_Oh. And why are you tired Padfoot?_

**Because I couldn't fall asleep in Binns class or else I'd sleep talk. Therefore, losing the game.**

_Ah, I see. Why didn't you ask me to play this game._

_**Because you'd win.**_

**Yeah, there would be no chance for the rest of us.**

_I can be a talking machine sometimes._

_**Like when?**_

_At home..._

_**Yeah right. The time you talked the most was when Padfoot and I cast a talking spell on you!**_

_And I was a talking machine, you see._

**For a smart guy you can be pretty stupid.**

_Pixies. _

**Don't say that evil word.**

_Pixies._

**I'm not talking to you anymore.**

_Good, because if you did then you'd lose the game._

**Hey, that's right.

* * *

**

Excerpt from Sirius Black's Astrology Essay.

**I chose to do my essay on the Dog star, also known as Sirius! Actually I'm going to be honest with you (Remus has been teaching me that honesty is good), I have no idea where this star is. I picked it because it's my name! Isn't that nifty. I have a star named after me, it's because I'm famous. Haha, I'm a star! A star, as in someone famed! Being a dog is the best animal too! It's the most loyal and its mans best friend. Go me, I'm a star and man's best friend.

* * *

**

Random Detentions

Detention

Culprit(s): Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Sirius Black

Crime: Turning the Great Hall into a gigantic game of mini golf, causing many students to be sent to the hospital wing with club related injuries.

Punishment: Cleaning the Great Hall...again.

Additional Comments: When will you learn? The Great Hall is not meant for fun!

Signed: Minerva McGonagall

Detention

Culprit(s): Sirius Black

Crime: Swinging on the chandelier in an attempt to fly.

Punishment: Fixing said chandelier, without magic.

Additional Comments: Stick to brooms, Black.

Signed: Madame Hooch

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter

Crime: Attempting to create a love potion in Potions class.

Punishment: Cleaning out the cauldrons.

Additional Comments: Go back to swooning girls the old way. By charm.

Signed: Horace Slughorn

* * *

Defense Against The Dark Arts

_**Evans...**_

_Go away._

_**I wanted to tell you that I love the way your hair looks today.**_

_Don't care._

_**Why won't you go out with me? I've been asking you for six years now.**_

_Because you're still a jerk to others and you curse them all for the fun of it._

_**What if I was to stop**_

_Like that'll happen._

_**What if I did?**_

_Then MAYBE I'll give you a chance, but as of now, I can't see that happening._

_**Well one day you will fall in love with me.**_

_Love potions aren't real love, Potter._

_**I mean REAL love, one of these days.**_

_Right._

_**Really!**_

_I was using a device called sarcasm._

_**Hey, Remus uses that a lot.**_

_I wouldn't be surprised._

_**One of these days Evans, we'll get married and have a kid and live happily ever after.**_

_Yes, we might get married and have a kid and live happily ever after but each of us to different people._

_**Next year, you'll see, I'll change.**_

_We'll see.

* * *

_

Letters From The Summer

_Dear Prongs and Padfoot,_

_How is your summer? What have you been up to lately? I'm guessing that Padfoot has moved in by now? My mum said you guys can come over sometime and we can play a round of Quidditch in the backyard. But this time, please don't lose the Quaffle into tree._

_Sincerely, _

_Moony_

_**Moony!**_

**_Yes Padfoot has moved in. _It's great being away from my parents, they've completely disowned me though. _Anyways, Padfoot and I have been sliding down the stair banisters all day. _I suggested swinging from the chandelier, but Prongsie said no. _Well, considering what happened last time. _I only broke two ribs and my left arm, nothing major. _But, yes, we'd love to come over, I could always use a round of Quidditch. _And since Prongs's parents won't let us play in the house, we can't, considering that Prong's backyard isn't as big as yours._ You know it's your backyard too now. _Yeah I know, that's so cool! _We'll owl Wormtail and tell him the plans. _So how many books have you read so far, Moony?**

**Love,**

**Padfoot_ and Prongs_**

****

_Padfoot and Prongs,_

_7 books, I'm losing my touch, I used to be able to read 9 books in a week._

_Love, _

_Moony_

_**Moony,**_

**YOU MAKE ME SICK!**

**Love,**

**Padfoot _and Prongs

* * *

_**

History of Magic

_**I guess that you are a rabbit!**_

**Wrong.**

_What are you two doing?_

_**Playing Charades.**_

_In class?_

**Yes.**

_So that's why Prongs was acting like a pig this morning._

**No, he always acts like that when Evans is around.**

_Oh yes, that's right._

_**Moony, help me guess what Padfoot is.**_

_Hm, a dog?_

**Wrong.**

_**A monkey?**_

**Wrong.**

_Ah I know...and Padfoot, that's not very nice._

_**What is he? What is he?**_

_Me._

_**Ohhhh a werewolf.**_

**Righty-O! Since you guessed it, you get to go Moony.**

_I'm not going to act out something in the middle of class._

_**Why not? You're not missing anything.**_

**I'm sure you can just read three books on this topic later.**

_Very, very true. Alright I'll go._

**Umm...a frog?**

_Nope._

_**A pixie?**_

**Shut up.**

_No, I'm not a pixie._

_**A pig that's drooling and wearing glasses?**_

**Ha no! You're Prongsie!**

_Very good Padfoot!_

Detention

Culprit(s): Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

Crime: Laughing in class

Punishment: Lines, "I will not laugh in class"

Additional Comments: ---

Signed: Binns

A/N: There ya go, another chapter! Review please!


	9. Never Steal Things From Hogwarts

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-I'm just a person who has no life. I'm not JK Rowling-

* * *

Potions

**James, do you have change for a Galleon?**

_**Sorry Sirius. I only have galleons with me.**_

**Darn. **

**Peter, do you have change for a Galleon?**

_**Nope. All my money is at home.**_

**Darn.**

**Remus, do you have change for a Galleon?**

_17 knuts or 24 sickles? Or 5 knuts and 12 sickles? Or 27 knuts and 3 sickles? _

**Whichever.**

_I don't have any money, you know that._

**Darn.**

**Evans, do you have change for a Galleon?**

_Not for you._

**Darn.**

**Professor Slughorn do you have change for a Galleon?**

**No I don't want a detention.**

**I'm writing to you because if I talk in class I'll get in trouble.**

**Yes, I know usually I don't care about getting a detention, but I need to be free tonight.**

**Because I have to give Hagrid the money I owe him.**

**Because I told him I could last a month without a detention. I cracked within two days. So, I owe him 17 sickles.**

**So do you have change?**

**Darn.

* * *

**

An Excerpt From The Journal of Sirius Black

**Journal, journal, journal,**

**I learned a very valuable lesson today. Never steal things from Hogwarts.**

**I ditched Divination class by asking to go to the bathroom. I decided that I wanted to nick one of those levitating candles that are in the Great Hall. It'd be really cool if I got a candle from Hogwarts. It'd be a special candle! Anywho, I couldn't get my candle if everyone was around, eating dinner or lunch or something. So I needed to ditch class to get my special candle. **

**I managed to get one down after constant attempts of jumping on the tables. When I was walking back to Gryffindor tower, twirling the candle in my hand, a suit of armor attacked me! I'm not joking! It chased me through the whole third and fourth corridors, up until I realized that suits of armor don't run up stairs very quickly. So I ran up stairs, not caring where I was going, until I ran into a room. Professor Melina's room. There I was, standing in the middle of her room, exhausted, with a candle in my right hand.** **Seconds later the suit of armor blasted into the room and snatched my candle! Professor Melina was furious. I doubt she'll let me go to the bathroom ever again. **

_I've told you countless times that the suits of armor are used as security devices in this school._

**This is MY journal, Remus, not yours. And besides, whenever you start mentioning Hogwarts: A History, I go into daydream mode.**

_About pudding_

**No. Alright, yes.

* * *

**

Excerpt From Peter Pettigrew's Transfiguration Essay

_**Peter Pettigrew**_

_**So, I guess the topic I'm supposed to be writing on is Anamagi. Anamagi are people who have mastered the ability to transform into an animal, and back again. All Anamagi are supposed to be registered with the Ministry, but I'm sure that there are plenty of unregistered Anamagi running around all over the place. Who knows, maybe there are unregistered Anamagi in this school! That would probably throw people for a loop, knowing that students could master the complex spells and potions to become an Anamagi. And I bet people would be surprised if someone like me became an Anamagus, but that could never happen, right Professor McGonagall? Because I'm not smart enough...supposedly.

* * *

**_

Charms

_**Moony, have you decided what you're going to choose as your career choice?**_

_I have no clue, various...er...laws have been passed lately that are making it more and more difficult for people like me to get a job._

_**I hate those people who pass those laws.**_

_Prongs, don't hate people you don't know._

_**But, I do.**_

_Well, you shouldn't. _

_**Why not?**_

_Because it's not nice._

_**But they're not being nice because they're not letting people with furry little problems get jobs**._

_Yeah well, that's the way people are sometimes. So, what did you choose as your career choice?_

_**Well I've thought long and hard about it.**_

_And?_

_**I want to be an owl keeper.**_

_You're joking._

_**Why would I be joking with something as important as my future?**_

_Those poor, poor, owls._

_**I don't know what you're talking about.**_

_Aside from the fact that you named your owl a ridiculous name, you also forgot to feed it, four days in a row, and you never cleaned its cage._

_**That's okay, it's not like I killed the bird.**_

_Maybe not, but I think you drove it insane. _

_**What makes you think that?**_

_Because it constantly hits its head against the bars of his owl cage._

_**Whatever Moony. Anyways, you never told me what you actually picked for your career choice.**_

_Oh, right, I was thinking about becoming a teacher._

_**NO MOONY! NOT A TEACHER!**_

_Why not?_

_**It's totally against the Marauders' Rules of Conduct.**_

_It is not. In our rules we just said that we had to torment teachers once a week._

_**Well, I just added a new rule. "A Marauder shall never become a teacher"**_

_Get over it Prongs. Besides, if I become a teacher I can outsmart kids like you who try to get the better of teachers._

_**How DARE you outsmart kids that try to do a noble deed, such as pranking.**_

_Kick the habit, Prongs, it only gets you in trouble._

_**It's well worth it. Sirius and I have almost beat the record of detentions.**_

_I'll never understand you two._

_**And I'll never understand you, Moony.

* * *

**_

An Excerpt From Sirius Black's Divination Homework

Describe Your Last Dream: **Let's see. I dreamed that I left my parent's house, but when I was walking to James's house, I got ambushed by boggarts. Loads of them! And they kept turning into pixies. Then Peter showed up out of no where and punched me! I know, how could Peter punch me? Anyways, then James showed up, holding hands with Evans this is when I realized I must've been dreaming, and he threw pudding at me, and Evans hexed me. No surprise there, she does that once in a while. Then they vanished, and Remus showed up and gave me a book. A book! I don't remember what is was called, but that's not important. Then some girl appeared and confessed her love for me that happens often, and then I woke up.**

Have a Friend Interpret Your Dream: **_Well, leaving your parents house symbolizes death. My house symbolizes death. Boggarts symbolize death. _PIXIES SYMBOLIZES DEATH! _Yes, those too. Remus symbolizes death, as does Peter. Pudding symbolizes death. _DOES NOT! _Books symbolize death. Me and Lily, well that's just the future. And that girl is just another member of the OJPASBFC, which symbolizes death._**

You're Conclusion About the Future:** Death. The grim. Dying. Graves. Tombstones. I'm dying. Do I get a good grade?

* * *

**

Party Invitation

**Where? _Gryffindor Common Room_**

**When? _All day on February 27th._**

**Why? _To Celebrate James and Sirius breaking the detention record!_**

_**NO SLYTHERINS!**_

**The more pretty girls the better! **

_**Bring presents!**_

**Yeah, LOTS of those!**

_**Evans, I love you!**_

**James, don't ruin our invitation with your meaningless Evans talk.**

_**It is NOT meaningless!**_

**I beg to differ.**

A/N: Review, review, review: )


	10. Approach Change 18

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Not JK Rowling-

--Remember, these are in no particular order in relation to their years. They aren't in order, so you'll have to decide which year they're in. One day I might go back and put the years in...but for now...no--

* * *

Defense Against the Dark Arts

**Why isn't Remus in class today?**

_**Beats me. He didn't...you know...**_

**Ditch?**

_**Yeah.**_

**Remus would never do that. We've known him for how long now?**

_**Six months I think. Since the beginning of term.**_

**Right. Oh I probably know where he is.**

_**Where?**_

**Probably visiting his grandma again.**

_**Oh that's right, she's really sick.**_

**With some weird virus...I forgot what it was called.**

_**I think Remus said it was the pixie flu.**_

**THERE'S A PIXIE FLU?**

_**Looks like it, according to Remus. And from I've learned about him...he's a walking encyclopedia. **_

**Do you think it's contagious? **

_**I think it is. Remus said that it makes you cough a lot, then you go crazy, and then you die.**_

**AH JAMES! Do you realize that I've been coughing lately!**

_**You have?**_

**YES! Next thing you know I'm going to be going crazy.**

_**Oh you're way past that stage, mate.**_

**Then that means I'm going to DIE!**

_**Maybe Remus knows of an antidote.**_

**What if there is no antidote? Then I'm going to die...and I'll accidentally spread it to you and you'll die...and then Peter will die. There'll be an epidemic! **

_**If you don't mind, Sirius, I'm going to go sit on the other side of the room. I would much rather want to survive my first year at Hogwarts.**_

**Do me a favor, James.**

_**Yes, my almost dead, Sirius.**_

**Take care of my pocket mirrors.**

_**I will, Sirius.**_

**And my combs.**

_**Of course.**_

**How long does this thing last?**

_**Dunno, Remus didn't say. You could probably die anytime now.**_

**That's just lovely, I haven't even had lunch yet!

* * *

**

Excerpt From the Journal of Remus Lupin

_Journal,_

_My friends are idiots. No, really, they are. They are living proof that history repeats itself._

_James got Lily mad...again. She made him swell up, like a balloon. All this without her wand...again. Sirius jumped off of the Astrology tower...again. He's unconscious at the moment. And Peter fell into the lake...again. Oh and James and Sirius attempted to "ride" the centaurs like horses a week ago. The centaurs weren't too happy. Come to think of it, I think they gave James and Sirius more injuries then when James and Sirius tried to see how long they could hold on to one of the Whompping Willow's branches. Boy was that an interesting day._

_James was made Gryffindor Quidditch Captain three days ago. Gary Summers's parents moved him away to Durmstrang school. James was ecstatic, he's been bringing up Quidditch for the past 72 hours...straight. I even hear him mumbling words like "quaffle" and "bludgers" in his sleep. It's sad, I know.

* * *

_

History of Magic

_**Why are you counting down seconds, Padfoot?**_

**Hold on, only 10 more seconds...**

**YES! Only 272 days until I turn of age!**

**_You're very excited for your 17th birthday aren't you?_**

**Of course! I can visit my family and curse them all!**

_**What a nice son.**_

**It's their fault. If they hadn't been so into their "pure-blood" mania, then I wouldn't be angry with them.**

_**So what do you want for your birthday Padfoot? I only have 272 days left until I have to get you a present, afterall.**_

**I want a motorcycle.**

_**Isn't that one of those muggle car things?**_

**It's better. It only has two wheels.**

_**Why do you want one anyways?**_

**Do you realize, Wormtail, how cool a flying motorcycle would be!**

_**No.**_

**Well, it'd be really cool. Forget portkeys and floo powder!**

_**There's the Knight Bus.**_

**I don't like the Knight Bus, there are some odd people on that thing.**

_**Well then, what about brooms?**_

_**BROOMS!**_

**Great Wormtail, you showed Prongs our note. That means he's going to go into-----**

_**QUIDDITCH! Right, so this year----**_

**Don't steal this parchment away from me! This was between me and Wormtail, thank you very much. **

_**I'm sorry Padfoot, I didn't mean to show him, it just sort of happened.**_

**It's okay Wormtail, we just have to remember not to say the B-word. **

_**You mean brooms right?**_

_**QUIDDITCH!**_

_**Whoops.

* * *

**_

The Three Broomsticks

_**Doesn't Lily look pretty, with her hair like that?**_

_Why are you writing on a napkin?_

_**Because, I can't let people hear us.**_

_You talk about Lily all the time when people are around!_

_**Well, I'm changing my approach.**_

**Good luck with that one Prongs.**

**_Isn't this your 17th attempt at changing your approach?_**

_**No.**_

**You forgot about the "Not obsessing with hair" change.**

_**No, I counted that one.**_

_What about the "Not cursing Snape" change?_

**_That was the one I forgot! Right, James, this is your 18th attempt at changing your approach._**

**I remember that approach change! It lasted how long?**

_3 whole minutes if I remember correctly._

_**It wasn't my fault that he was begging for a fight!**_

_He was sitting on the opposite side of the classroom, reading his potions book._

**Actually, it sounds like he was begging for a fight to me.**

_You two are horrible!_

_**We try Remus, we try.

* * *

**_

An Excerpt From Marauders' Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf: **Interesting question. So difficult, I think N.E.W.T.'s should have loads of werewolf questions, because they are just so difficult. Let's see, there's the tufted tail, if I can remember correctly. The size of the pupils is another one, I think. Let's see...what else. Oh, the snout shape is different, and the actual size of a wolf and a werewolf differ. And the last difference is the shape of their canine teeth. A werewolf has larger ones then that of a normal wolf.**

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf:_Tufted tail, smaller pupils, snout shape, actual size, and the canine teeth. Oh, there's also the claw size, the ear shape, and the color of the eyes. Nice question._

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf:** _Werewolf eh? Hm, let's see. Smaller pupils, different snout, actual size, tufted tail, and the canine teeth. Good enough for ya?_**

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf:**_ I should know this...there's the tufted tail. The smaller pupils. The snout shape. And...the color and howl?

* * *

_**

Transfiguration

_Remus, can you do me a favor?_

_Sure, what?_

_Smack them._

_Who?_

_Potter and Black._

_Why?_

_Look at them!_

_So they have stupid grins on their faces!_

_What usually happens when they are grinning?_

_They're up to something, whether it involves Snape or you...fine I'll smack them._

_Thank you._

_Lily._

_What?_

_Your hair is green._

_Lovely. Just lovely. Forget about hitting them, Remus. I'll get them in detention now, and I'll hex them later._

Detention

Culprit(s): _Black and Potter_

Crime: _They turned my, Lily Evans's, hair green._

Punishment: _Serving the Prefects dinner next Saturday night_

Additional Comments: _No, Potter, you serving me dinner does NOT count as a date._

Signed: _Lily Evans_

_Great punishment. James and Sirius will never hear the end of this one._

_I love being Prefect._


	11. Graduation Speech

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Well, I have finally updated. It's not the best chapter, but it's something. I'm running out of ideas. However I have put in a new addition: years.-

--I'm not J.K. Rowling--

* * *

Excerpts From The Journals of the Marauders; 7th Year

_Journal,_

_The world is coming to an end. The apocalypse is coming. _

_Lily and James are officially a couple. Sirius fainted when he found out...twice. _

_My word, James is going to be revolting over the next few weeks. _

_**Journal,**_

_**Unbelievable. She said yes, out of the one million times she has said no, she has finally said yes. I still can't believe it.**_

**Journal, journal, journal,**

**JAMES AND LILY ARE TOGETHER! After 6 long years of "no" she said yes. James has been bouncing off the walls ever since. She doesn't even call him "Potter" anymore! Gosh, I'm going to have to get used to this...**

_**Journal,**_

**_She. Said. Yes. Excuse me while I pinch myself, for the 87th time today.

* * *

_**

History of Magic; 3rd Year

**Guess what!**

_**Are we having pudding at lunch again?**_

**I wish!**

_What, Sirius?_

**My cousin had a baby today!**

_Which cousin?_

**Andromeda**

_**That's the good cousin, right?**_

**Yep. I don't think I'd trust Narcissa or Bellatrix being parents.**

_**Me neither**_

_So, what's the child's name?_

**Nymphadora!**

_That's a different name._

**I think it's cool!**

_Of course you do Sirius._

**And guess what else!**

_Your parents died in a horrible accident?_

**I wish!**

_**What, then?**_

**Nymphadora is an Metamorphmagus!**

_First of all, I'm surprised that you spelled Metamorphmagus right, and second of all, NO WAY, they are very rare._

**No joke. Her nose kept changing constantly.**

_**I wish I could change my appearance at will. Wait, no I don't. I'm beautiful enough as it is.**_

_Sure you are, James._

_**You were being sarcastic weren't you?**_

_Yes, yes I was.Anyways, back to Sirius's relative..._

**I'm just excited because now I have a new cousin, sister, twice removed, or something.**

_She's your second cousin._

**Right, that's what I said.

* * *

**

Transfiguration; 4th Year

_**Remus, I've decided**_

_Decided on what, James?_

_**I'm giving up.**_

_On..._

_**Lily.**_

_Oh sure, that'll last for a whole five minutes. _

_**I mean it! That's it. No more. **_

_Right._

_**None**_

_mhm_

_**Zilch**_

_Right._

_**Look, I won't do anything to her when she walks into the room.**_

_We'll see. She's out in the corridor so she'll be here any second. Brace yourself, James. _

_**See, she's in the classroom...and I haven't..done...I'll be right back.**_

_**Forget I wrote anything.**_

_Wow James, you lasted a minute longer than I thought you would!_

_**Not another word, loony loopy Lupin.**_

_You're never going to forget that are you?_

_**Never**_

_Bloody Peeves

* * *

_

Potions; 7th Year

_Have you gotten to work on your speech yet Padfoot?_

**No. Stupid detention assignment if you ask me.**

_You were the one who filled every common room with bubbles._

**Yes, but is that really worthy of a detention? I mean, it was completely harmless.**

_Not for that Hufflepuff second year._

**Well, he should've known that you can't inhale bubbles.**

_He almost choked to death Padfoot._

**Your point?**

_Over these seven years and you still haven't changed_

**I never intend to.**

_You better get to work on that speech, graduation is in a week._

**Fine. Here's how it will go...**

**My fellow students, now is the day that we graduate. I'm sure Professor McGonagall is glad that I'll be gone, but I'm pretty sure she'll miss the rest of you. **

_Don't be silly Padfoot, Professor McGonagall will be upset when your gone._

**She will not. Anyways, onto the rest of my speech...**

**We will now be heading out into the real world. Some of us may become Healers, or Aurors, or Death Eaters –insert cough that sounds an awful lot like Snivellus—**

_The least you could do is leave him alone on graduation day. _

**Moony, you know he's going to be a Death Eater, everyone does.**

_Doesn't mean you have to announce it in front of the whole school._

**Yes I do, maybe if I get lucky they'll cart him off to Azkaban right then.**

_You're horrible. _

**May I continue now?**

_Go ahead._

**Throughout our seven years we have made relationships, even if they may have failed over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over**

_They'd get the point by now Padfoot_

**again, like Lily and James. But, we have also made great friendships, like me, James, Peter, and Remus, the werewolf.**

_Don't you dare._

**I'm just messing with you Moony, I wouldn't announce your secret in front of everyone.**

_Thank You._

** Some of us have became so good of friends that we became Animagi**

_DO YOU WANT TO GET US EXPELLED?_

**Oh, right, I should probably take that part out.**

_You'd think._

**The point is, is that you students have all been excellent targets for my pranks and I am highly thankful.**

_You know what, I think I'm going to have a talk with Professor McGonagall and ask her to rethink your punishment._

**You don't like my speech, Moony?**

_I just want you to graduate with out being expelled or cursed into oblivion by your fellow students._

**Thanks for looking out for me.

* * *

**

Excerpt From James Potter's Charms Essay; 5th Year

_**Well, I have to admit that one of my favorite spells is levicorpus. It's a nonverbal spell that hoists its victim upside down into the air. It always causes a laugh, and there's almost no way the person can get down. I have used it, a–er–few times in my life. I must warn you though, if your victim has his wand with him, even if he's upside down he can still hex you. Remus made me realize that a few days ago. I kind of tried out the spell on him, but he had his wand with him, so he hexed me while he was hexed. I'll tell you this, Sirius had a right fun time laughing at us. Therefore, Remus and I both used our spells on him. Do you realize how funny it is when someone is stuck dancing upside down? Oh, and I also realized it's not the smartest thing to hex a prefect, they do have the ability to give out detentions, which I found out. Look at this detention slip!**_

Detention

Culprit(s): _James Potter_

Crime:_ Using a charm on me one to many times._

Punishment:_ Having to finish his own Charms essay, without copying mine._

Additional Comments: _I told you not to mess with me the days before the full moon, James_

Signed:_ Remus Lupin_

_**Did I forget to mention that I cursed him over fifteen times within the span of ten minutes? But, at least I'm following through with my punishment.

* * *

**_

A/N: I am in desperate need of more ideas, if you have any suggestions, please inform me!


	12. You're a WHAT?

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Thank you to MarauderinglyMagical for the awesome idea of turning the Great Hall upside down-

--Not JK Rowling–

—I understand, it's a short chapter. But, better then nothing right?---

* * *

Divination; 3rd Year

_**Let's play a game.**_

_Why?_

**Because this class is boring.**

_**I agree.**_

_What game do you have in mind, James?_

_**One of us draws something, and the rest of us has to guess what it is.**_

_**Sounds like fun.**_

_Sound like trouble._

**Don't be a downer Remus.**

_I'm not being a downer._

_**Then play.**_

_Fine. Who goes first._

_**Me! I thought of the game.**_

**I think the handsomest should go first.**

_**Thank you for agreeing with me, Sirius. I'll go first.**_

**I was talking about me!**

_**Perhaps the youngest should go first.**_

_Or the oldest._

_**No, I'm going first.**_

**Fine then, draw, Jamsie.**

_**Okay, guess...**_

_All you did was scribble._

_**That there is artwork my friend.**_

_**Define your definition of artwork to us, James.**_

**You can't tell what that is?**

_You can?_

**Easy, it's a boggart.**

_**Good job, Sirius.**_

**Thank you, thank you.**

_**No one knows what a boggart looks like, Sirius.**_

_**Which is why my drawing is so accurate.**_

_I'm surrounded by idiots._

_**At least this idiot can draw.**_

_A scribble does not count as drawing._

**Sure it does, Remus.**

_**I put much skill and thought into my drawing.**_

_You did it in two seconds_

_**That's because I'm an excellent, speedy, artist.

* * *

**_

Excerpt From A Detention Assignment of Sirius Black; 5th Year

**Sirius Black**

**So, I'm supposed to write about the sticking charm, eh? Well, let me tell you, I can cast a mean sticking charm. No joke. I'm sure you can remember, the prank of our third year? If not, then I'll remind you...**

**It was the last day of school, two years ago. And, as you and the rest of the faculty know, me, James, Remus, and Peter always pull a big prank at the end of the year. Well, that was the year we decided to turn the Great Hall upside down. Half of the sticking charms we used were cast by me. Remember the difficulty in getting the tables off the ceilings?That was all thanks to my pure sticky charming skills.**

**I would also like to take this time to inform you, Professor Flitwick, that I believe my prank this afternoon was in no way, shape or form, deserved punishment. I only let off a few fireworks in class. Ask McGonagall...I've done MUCH worse.

* * *

**

Excerpt From The Journal of Peter Pettigrew; 5th Year

_**Journal,**_

_**I woke up this morning and my face was blue. Literally. Sirius appeared to be hexing in his sleep...again. **_

_**Why me, journal? Why?**_

Flyer For Quidditch Tryouts; 7th Year

_**QUIDDITCH TRYOUTS!**_

_**Do you have outstanding athletic ability?**_

_**Are you not afraid of heights?**_

_**Do you like to make Slytherins lose so bad that they cry?**_

**_If you answered yes to the three questions above (the last question especially), then the Gryffindor Quidditch Team is right for you!_ _Under the wonderful leadership skills of me, James Potter, we shall lead our team to victory!_**

_**Tryouts are at 2:00pm, Saturday afternoon, at the Quidditch Pitch.

* * *

**_

Letters From The Summer; 4th-5th Year

_Dear Peter,_

_Did you get your books and things yet? I got a rather...interesting...letter along with my book list this morning. Hope the remainder of your summer is going well, see you in a few weeks._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus_

_**Dear Remus,**_

_**Yeah, I got all my books. What letter did Hogwarts send you? Summer is good, but very boring. James and Sirius have come over a few times to work on the you-know-what transformation.**_

_**Your Friend,**_

_**Peter**_

_Dear Peter,_

_Well, turns out I was made prefect. Imagine that. You've been careful working on that transformation right? I don't want to come back to school and find that half of you is an animal._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus._

_**Dear Remus,**_

_**You've been made prefect! Sirius and James are going to murder you...**_

_**Yes I've been careful.**_

_**Your Friend,**_

_**Peter**_

_Dear Sirius,_

_Just wanted to let you know, that I've been made prefect. See you when school starts up._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus._

**Dear Remus,**

**YOU'RE A WHAT? YOU BETTER BE JOKING! WE CAN'T HAVE A MARAUDER BEING A PREFECT, IT'S UNHEARD OF! OUR WHOLE SCHOOL EXPERIENCE HAD BEEN ABOUT BREAKING RULES! YOU CAN'T BE THE ONE ENFORCING THEM! I HOPE THIS HOWLER MAKES YOU COME TO YOUR SENSES TO SEND THAT BADGE BACK!**

**Love, **

**Sirius**

_Dear Sirius,_

_That howler you sent me had successfully made me deaf in my right ear for the past few days, but I'm keeping the badge. The Marauders are the only Gryffindor boys in our year, one of us was going to be made prefect anyways. Besides, things will still be the same...I'll just be able to give you detention and I have access to the Prefects bathroom, officially access, I mean, not having to sneak in there. Oh, by the way, Lily is also prefect, so I'd keep your guard up around her, if you don't want to land in anymore detentions then your guaranteed 150 per school year. _

_Sincerely,_

_Remus_

**Dear Remus,**

**I hate you. And Evans too. **

**Love, **

**Sirius**


	13. Johnson And Jacobs

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Not JK Rowling-

* * *

Potions; 6th Year

_**I can't believe you never told me!**_

_Told you what, Prongs?_

_**Oh, you know.**_

_I can assure you I do not._

_**Why didn't you tell me you snogged Clair Jacobs?**_

_Who did you hear that from?_

_**A very reliable source that would not wish to have his name disclosed at this time.**_

_In other words, Padfoot told you?_

_**What gave you that idea?**_

_Because Sirius tells you everything._

_**Well yes.**_

_But,he does not count as a reliable source_

_**Yes, he does.**_

_Remember last year. The Lina Johnson story?_

_**What about it?**_

_I picked up a book for her one day and the following day we were married with three kids!_

_**You wanting to be in a fast paced relationship does not pertain to Sirius's stories.**_

_It was a rumor, Prongs. A rumor that Sirius started._

_**Never. Anyway stop trying to change the subject. You snogged Clair!**_

_As I have been trying to say...it was a rumor!_

_**Was not. Sirius told me you two were snogging in the library!**_

_We were not! I was simply helping her study for our Transfiguration exam._

_**Sure, "studying". Fine, Moony, I understand. You don't want to tell dear ole Prongs about the new love of your life.**_

_She's not the "love of my life" as you so kindly put it!_

_**So you're still in love with Johnson then?**_

_I'm not in love with either of them!_

_**Have you told Johnson that? Moony, you and Johnson can't break it off. Think of your kids!**_

_I HAVE NO KIDS PRONGS!_

_**Well now you're just in denial.**_

_Prongs do me a favor..._

_**Break up with Johnson for you? I guess I could do that. It'll be a bit easier on her and the kids.**_

_**Then you can go get hitched to Jacobs and have some more kids. I must warn you, Moony, girls don't like it when us guys get married and then get a divorce with everyone. You might want to slow things down soon, you know?**_

_Actually, I was going to tell you to stop writing to me. But, now I think that giving you a detention would be much more appealing. _

_**Moony, don't do that to me!**_

_You're right. I'll do it to both you and Padfoot for starting all of this in the first place._

_**Your wives's are probably not going to be too happy once they hear you are putting you best mates in detention. **_

Detention

Culprit (s): _James Potter and Sirius Black_

Crime: _Spreading harmful rumors_

Punishment:_ Tutoring Peter for two weeks_

Additional Comments: _Don't mess with me._

Signed: _Remus Lupin_

**REMUS WHAT DID I DO?**

_Johnson and Jacobs_

**Oh, James told you about that...

* * *

**

An Excerpt From The Journal Of Remus Lupin; 3rd Year

**Remus's journal,**

**You are in the hospital wing today and because I'm such a kind soul, I've decided to write in your journal for you! I hope you don't mind, and if you do...too bad. **

**So, let me update you on the day.**

**Well, I woke up around seven this morning, and took a shower, while singing. And guess what Remus! I only got yelled at to stop singing, five times! So, after that, I went to breakfast with James and Pete, then we went to visit you. Oh by the way, I stole one of your chocolate frogs, hope you don't mind. Then we went to Transfiguration, in which I got a detention for 'causing a disturbance' or something of that sort. You know, the usual. Then we went to the rest of our classes and cursed Snivelly a few times. Oh, James asked out Evans again. I bet you could guess what the result was. **

**Well, those were the highlights of the day. Oh, I know you told me to take notes for you...but I didn't. You understand right? I'm a very busy person, you understand. **

**Alright, that's all. Bye bye Remmy.

* * *

**

Transfiguration; 4th Year

_**How do I look, guys?**_

_**The same as you always do James.**_

_**Is my hair scruffy?**_

_When is it not?_

_**Very good point.**_

_**Going to ask out Lily again?**_

_**No**_

_Then why are you caring about the way you look?_

**He's going to ask out someone else.**

_**HE'S GOING TO WHAT?**_

_**I'm going to ask out someone else.**_

_James, you can't do that! It'll disturb the delicate equilibrium of nature!_

_**It was Sirius's idea in the first place.**_

_Sirius..._

**WHAT? It's the perfect plan.**

_**Plan for what?**_

**The jealousy factor.**

_James, please, don't tell me you're taking dating advice from Sirius._

**Excuse me, but I give excellent dating advice.**

_**Sure, Sirius.**_

**I do.**

_Like when you convinced Peter to dye his hair green because Andrea absolutely loved the color green and if Peter's hair was green she was certain to go with him to Hogsmeade._

**It was a fool proof plan, it should've gone just as expected.**

_**Her favorite color was BLUE Sirius.**_

**You want to try blue hair then, Pete?**

_**EXCUSE ME! But this note was about me, and my new "Obtain Lily By The End Of The Year" plan. Also know as the O.L.B.T.E.O.T.Y. plan. **_

_So then, James, which girl are you planning to make Lily jealous with?_

_**Jeanne Mitchell**_

**_The Slytherin 6th year?_**

_May I remind you that both you and Sirius hate all Slytherins in this school?_

**This is true, but my dear Remus, you are forgetting one very important thing.**

_And what would that be?_

_**Jeanne is the hottest girl in the castle. Even if she may be evil.**_

**Evans will HAVE to be jealous.**

_Please. Lily is much too intelligent to fall for this trick._

**Oh really Remus? We shall see.**

_**I'm agreeing with Remus. 10 galleons say Lily doesn't give a care.**_

**You're on. 20 galleons say Lily does care.**

_Let's watch and see what happens then, shall we?_

**Good luck, James!**

_**Ha, Like I need it.**_

**You see Remus, Peter, the look of jealousy in Evan's eyes?**

_I would probably interpret that as anger._

_**Jeanne looks happy though.**_

_Snape doesn't._

**Probably because he likes Jeanne. Ah the day keeps getting better and better. James will finally get Evans, and we managed to make Snivelly miserable as well!**

_**There goes James, talking with Lily. Probably asking her if she's jealous.**_

_Oh my. Did she just slap him across the face? _

_**I believe she did! That would be 20 galleons, Sirius.**_

_Good thing you're rich._

**That's okay, Snivellus is still upset.**

_Wait, wait, I think there is more._

_**Looks like Jeanne found out you're 'brilliant' plan Sirius.**_

_And there goes slap number two!_

_**Looks like Snape is happier now.**_

_Nice plan Sirius._

**Don't blame the plan, Remus. It was bloody James who screwed things up.**

**

* * *

**

Potions; 7th Year 

_**Hi Lily.**_

_Peter, why are you writing to me?_

_**I'm not allowed to write to you?**_

_No, it's just that you never do._

_**Well, you see, I needed to ask you something.**_

_Oh? Well go ahead._

_**Would you please go out with James?**_

_MERLIN! _

_**He really likes you though!**_

_So, I've realized. _

_**Well then can't you just give him a chance?**_

_Listen, Peter, I kind of fancy someone..._

_**Oh. Could you hold on a second?**_

**__**

_**James, Lily fancies someone else.**_

_**SHE WHAT? That can't be true.**_

_**That's what she told me!**_

_**She's lying to you Peter. Plain and simple. **_

_**It didn't seem like it.**_

_**Well she was. I'll get Padfoot to talk to her.**_

****

**Evans, why did you go and lie to Peter?**

_I wasn't lying._

**Yes you are. You can't fancy someone when James does.**

_I can and I do._

**No you don't.**

_I can assure you I do, Black. Now go run to Potter and you leave me alone._

**It's true, mate. **

_**It's not.**_

**Hey, I can tell when a girl is lying, and she wasn't.**

_**That's it, I'll get Moony to get the truth out of her.**_

****

_So, Lily, I heard you fancy someone._

_You heard correctly._

_Who is it then?_

_Someone._

_With the name of..._

_Nice try, Remus but, I'm not telling._

_And why not?_

_Because...it's embarrassing. _

_Please don't tell me it's Snape._

_No, no, it's not._

_Well then who else would be embarrassing?_

_It's just...it's someone I've sworn myself against_

_Merlin._

_But PLEASE don't tell him, Remus. PLEASE!_

_Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. _

_I think I'm about to pass out from shock._

**EVANS KILLED REMUS!**

_I did not. He merely fainted._

_**I know I was getting on your nerves Evans, but did you have to go and murder one of my best friends?**_

_I DIDN'T MURDER HIM!_

_**It looks like you did.**_

_I just told him something that shocked him is all!_

**Oooo, what?**

_**Yeah, what?**_

_**Tell us Lily!**_

_Oh, look at the time. I need to go. We have duty tonight, Ja—, Potter, don't forget._

_**Did she almost write, James?**_

**Something very fishy is going on.**

_**And I think Moony knows.**_

**You think Moony will tell us?**

_**He didn't even tell us he was a werewolf! **_

_**Very true.**_

**Think we can risk a trip to Slughorn's stash of Veritaserum?**

A/N: Reviews are always a nice way to start the summer!


	14. Get To Know Your Roomates! Survey

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Not JK Rowling-

* * *

History Of Magic, 5th Year

_**MOONY WE HAVE A CODE 947 ON OUR HANDS!**_

_Merlin, Sirius went overboard on the pudding AGAIN?_

_**Oh, sorry, wrong code.**_

_Then what is it Wormtail?_

_**Padfoot and Prongs are risking expulsion.**_

_Ah, that would be code 497. That's the third time this month. What are they doing this time?_

_**Planning to burn down the library when no one is looking.**_

_You've got to be kidding me._

_**I'm not joking.  
**_

__

_Wormtail better be lying to me._

_**About what, dear Moony?**_

_Oh don't even try to be innocent._

**Why, Moony, we have no idea what you're talking about.**

_Last week it was the Slytherin common room, now the library?_

_**I don't remember you telling us not to burn the Slytherin common room.**_

_I said it was a bad idea!_

**Doesn't mean it wasn't fun!**

_And Slytherins are one thing, but these are innocent BOOKS you're talking about._

_**They aren't innocent, Moony.**_

**They are the spawn of Salazar Slytherin, himself.**

_How dare you._

_**Aw, look Padfoot, Moony is getting a bit overprotective of his precious books.**_

**Moony, think about how cool it would look! All those pages erupting into flames.**

_No, you are not allowed to burn the library._

_**I'm afraid that this is too good of an opportunity to pass up.**_

**Besides, I'm sure Dumbledore can have them all restored in a matter of seconds.**

_Fine, then I'm sure Dumbledore can restore your broomstick, Prongs, and your mirrors, Padfoot._

_**You**_

**wouldn't**

_**dare.**_

_Oh, I can assure you, I would._

_**Looks like the library is out of the question then, Padfoot.**_

**Thanks for ruining our fun, Moony.

* * *

**

Excerpt From The Diary Of Lily Evans; 2nd Year

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm scared. Potter has been plotting our "future family". Merlin, will he ever give up? _

_The good things of the day: I think I might have a study date for the afternoon! Crazy isn't it! And it just happens to be with one of Potter's friends, Remus. Alright, so he didn't exactly say "would you like to have a study date with me?", he more so said "So, do you want to go to the library to work on our project?". Oh yeah, did I mention that we have a project together in Herbology? You should've seen the look on Potter's face when Remus got paired up with me, twas priceless.

* * *

_

Excerpt From The Journal of Remus Lupin, The Following Day, 2nd Year

_Journal,_

_Awkward night, very awkward night. The herbology project got done alright, after four hours in the library. Next time, I'm forbidding James to come along while I try to work on a project. Granted, he only wanted to tag along to make sure that I didn't do anything with Lily. Merlin, what does he take me for? A girl-stealing werewolf? Anyway, it took us four hours because Lily and James were arguing the entire time, while Madame Pince was hushing us, all at the same time that we were trying to write up a report about gillyweed. _

_Lily's nice and all, but next time we get paired up we're either going to the library in the dead of night when James won't follow us, or I'll just kill myself. Preferably the first solution as opposed to the second.

* * *

_

Breakfast; 7th Year

_**Any ideas for next week?**_

**A few.**

_**Why are you two writing on a napkin?**_

_**Because, Wormtail, we can't have anyone overhear about our major, gigantic, enormous, end-of-our-Hogwarts-career prank. **_

_**What about Moony?**_

**What about him? **

_**Shouldn't he get some say in this?**_

_**He should, but he's a bit preoccupied by being in the hospital wing at the moment. **_

**Besides, he'll disapprove of any prank we come up with.**

_**True, true.**_

_**So, Padfoot, what were these ideas?**_

**Oh right, well, we could slip Veritaserum into all the Professors' drinks and ask weird questions.**

_**I don't think Slughorn has any Veritaserum left, seeing as we stole the last bottle of it last week.**_

**Darn, that's right. I was looking forward to asking McGonagall if she really coughs up fur balls.**

_**Ew. Anyway, second option.**_

**Right, a food fight at our final feast!**

_**Padfoot! That's so simple, and yet so brilliant!**_

**Yes, yes, I know.**

_**I wonder why we have never thought of it before.**_

**And Moony won't be able to shoot it down because...**

_**It's not dangerous. Sirius, you're a GENIUS!**_

**Believe me, I know.

* * *

**

Get To Know Your Roomates! Survey, 1st Year

Name: **_Peter Pettigrew_**

Nicknames: **_Pete_**

Birthday: **_July 2nd_**

Favorite Color: **_White_**

Sibling(s): **_An older sister, but she lives in Scotland right now._**

Pet(s): **_I have a puffskin at home._**

Hobbies: **_Um, I don't know._**

Subject That You Are Looking Forward To:**_ Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures_**

Describe Yourself In One Word: **_Cool

* * *

_**

Name: **_James Potter_**

Nicknames: **_Jamsie, as given to me by Sirius._**

Birthday: **_May 17th_**

Favorite Color: **_Red, but not blood red, probably closer to ruby red._**

Sibling(s): **_None for me. I'm an only child. Thank Merlin, Sirius's brother is a nightmare. _**

Pet(s): **_I had a cat, but that died, then I had a dog, which ran away, then I had some fish, which went belly-up after three days. Then we had chickens for a while because my mum thought I'd have better luck with farm animals, but then my dad got hungry, so...no pets for me right now._**

Hobbies: **_Quidditch, and pranking people. _**

Subject That You Are Looking Forward To: **_Broomstick lessons! Even if I'm practically pro already._**

Describe Yourself In One Word: **_Thegreatestpersonintheentireworld

* * *

_**

Name: _Remus Lupin_

Nicknames: _None really_

Birthday: _March 10th_

Favorite Color: _Probably blue_

Sibling(s):_ None, I probably would have one if things hadn't happened_

Pet(s): _None, pets wouldn't work well in my household_

Hobbies: _Reading mostly. _

Subject That You Are Looking Forward To: _Everything. Transfiguration, especially, and Charms, and Defense Against The Dark Arts, and well, basically, everything._

Describe Yourself In One Word: _Different

* * *

_

Name: **Sirius Black**

Nicknames: **I don't have one. Though I suppose Serious Sirius would be pretty funny huh, too bad I'm not very serious.**

Birthday: **June 27th, best day of the year!**

Favorite Color: **It would be pretty coincidental if I said black, but no, my favorite color is red, no wait, blue, nah not blue, green. Yeah, green. I think.**

Sibling(s): **Oh, you mean the annoyance that haunts my existence? That would be my younger brother, Regulus. Or as I like to call him, Regulus the Git.**

Pet(s): **I had an owl, but it flew away last year. **

Hobbies: **Throwing my house-elf, Kreacher, off various things in my home, pranking people, and eating pudding. Oh, and combing my hair, I really do have awesome hair. **

Subject That You Are Looking Forward To: **Subject? Darn, so I really do have to learn here.**

Describe Yourself In One Word:** Gorgeous!

* * *

**

A/N: Reviews would be lovely!


	15. The Upside To Being Head Boy

The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

* * *

Potions; 6th Year

**Prongsie, I found the greatest hex the other day.**

_**Really? Oh, Padfoot, please tell. **_

**You know that book that we found?**

_**The one that was restricted and dangerous?**_

**Yeah, that one.**

_**Of course I remember. Go on.**_

**Well, I was looking through it last night and I found this hex that would inflate anything!**

_**Anything?**_

**ANYTHING!**

_**Neat. Have you tried it out yet?**_

**Nope, I wanted you to accompany me with the honors.**

_**Padfoot, you are such a good friend. **_

**I know.**

_**So, what do you want to inflate.**_

**You remember that Slytherin 4th year?**

_**You mean the one who tripped Wormtail in the hallway last week?**_

**Yeah, that one. Anyway I was thinking...**

_**That we should teach him to never mess with the Marauders?**_

**Precisely.**

_**Lunchtime?**_

**Sounds good.**

**  
**

Lunchtime; 6th Year

Detention (Double)

Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black

Crime: Use of an illegal hex on Bertram Aubrey. Aubrey's head twice normal size.

Punishment: Polishing the trophies.

Additional Comments: Please. Can't you two lay off for a few days?

Signed: Minerva McGonagall

* * *

Excerpt From The Journal of Sirius Black; 2nd Year

**Journal, journal, journal,**

**Well, Remus is a werewolf. I know, I'm just as shocked as you are! He hasn't told us yet, bloody git, but James and I figured it out this week. I should've realized earlier that his mother died five times last year. Hm, at least I don't have to worry about a pixie flu. **

**It's all just so ironic. I mean, Remus is this quiet, book worm, bloke who happens to turn into a beast once a month. It's just really odd to think about. I mean, things make a WHOLE lot of sense now, but it's still, I don't know. **

**Ugh, it makes me respect him. And you know me, Journal, I never respect anyone.**

* * *

Charms; 4th Year

**Today is one of the worst days of the year.**

_Why, Sirius? Everything is going fine today. You hadn't been put in detention, yet, and there was pudding at lunch. _

**I know my day has been going fine, but what the day signifies is horrible.**

_And what would that be?_

**It's my brother's birthday.**

_Oh._

**I've been trying to avoid him all day. **

_Maybe you should just wish him a happy birthday and get it over with._

**Remus, you don't understand. Regulus goes crazy when it's his birthday. **

_How so?_

**He makes these big scenes. Like when he turned seven, he spent the whole day shouting at the top of his lungs "I'M SEVEN!"**

_You did that last year, when you turned fourteen. _

**Well, that was different. I started doing that when my parents totally ignored me, and I had to shout for them to acknowledge me. Regulus just does it for the attention.**

_And you don't?_

**Stop taking his side, Remus. **

_I'm not taking his side. It's just, it's his birthday and you are family._

**He conveniently forgets that when it's my birthday.**

_You really love to hold grudges don't you?_

**I don't hold grudges.**

_Then why has your broomstick, that "one piece of parchment", and a sneakoscope become off limits for any conversation?_

**Because my mum broke my broomstick when I was eight, and that "one piece of parchment" was very important to me and my cousin ripped it when I was five. And my birthday sneakoscope, that I only had for ONE day, was thrown out the window by McGonagall!**

_And have you forgiven any of those people for doing said action?_

**They don't deserve to be forgiven!**

_See, grudges._

**I don't know what you're talking about.**

* * *

List of Marauder Codes #170-179; 5th Year

#170: The Gryffindor common room has been lit on fire. **Haha, I remember that!**

#171: A new passage way has been discovered. _We haven't used this one in a while. **I think we've found all the secret passage ways, that's why. **_

#172: James and Sirius are being chased down by Prefects. **I guess we now use this code if Remus and Lily are chasing us too, huh. **

#173: Slytherins are in perfect wand aim. **One of my personal favorites. _Mine, too. _**

#174: Sirius cursed someone/something in his sleep. _You really need to break that habit, Sirius._

#175: Remus's "secret" is in danger of being discovered. **We've been having to use this one more often too, since Snivilly has been snooping around. **

#176: ---------. **_HEY! This is the "James was caught snogging Lily and is on the verge of being sent to detention" code_**. _Yes, but we have found no use for it, so what's the point in having it a code at all? _

#177: A new prank idea has occurred. **I might have a code #177 right now!**

#178: Peter just got spell damage. **_Haha, that just happened yesterday!_**

#179: Sirius is trying fly, without magic. **_Merlin, do we use this one a lot._**

****

* * *

****

Muggle Studies; 7th Year

_**Why weren't you with us on the train yesterday morning, Prongs?**_

_**I wasn't allowed to be.**_

**What? McGonagall is now telling you where to sit on the train? This is an outrage!**

_That's not why, Padfoot. _

_**Then why?**_

_**Because. Merlin, I can't bring myself to say it. You tell them, Moony. I'm too disgusted with myself.**_

_Prongs was made Head Boy. _

_**Well, there goes Sirius.**_

_First day of lessons and he has already passed out._

_**So, Head Boy?**_

_**Don't remind me! I hate it. Moony, why didn't they pick you. At least you obey the rules some what.**_

_I talked to Dumbledore and requested to not be Head Boy._

_**WHY DID YOU GO AND DO A THING LIKE THAT!**_

_It was difficult enough having Prefect meetings once a month and patrol duty twice a week. I wouldn't have been able to go to Head Boy meetings once a week while patrolling five days a week. _

_**But, you're SUPER MOONY! You can do anything!**_

_You try scheduling in all that junk, AND the full moon. There would be questions, lots and lots of questions._

_**Dumbledore went from Moony to Prongs, wow, what a change.**_

_**I don't want to be Head Boy! I had already thought of a million insults to throw at you, Moony, for when you became Head Boy.**_

_Glad to know you thought about me, Prongs._

_**That would be the sarcasm, huh?**_

_Very good. _

_**Padfoot is waking up. **_

**HEAD BOY? Prongs CAN'T be Head Boy! **

_**I wish it wasn't true, Padfoot, but it is.**_

**But, but, now that means you're even higher on the git list then Prefects!**

_**I KNOW!**_

_Thanks, Padfoot._

_**So, who's Head Girl?**_

_**Oh, well that part I can live with.**_

**Evans, figures.**

_Well, now you get to be with Lily more often._

**But you get to be with us LESS often!**

_You know, Padfoot and Prongs, there are upsides to being Head Boy._

_**Like what.**_

_The ability to put people in detention. _

**You know, Prongs, that does open up many doors for us. **

_**It does. Hm, maybe this Head Boy thing will be tolerable after all. **_

Detention

Culprit(s):**_Severus Snape_**

Crime:**_His nose_**

Punishment:**_Polishing my shoes_**

Additional Comments: **_HAHA IN YOUR SLYTHERIN FACE!_**

Signed:**_James Potter_**

_**Yes, I think this will work out all right.**_

* * *

A/N: I know I hadn't updated in a looong time, but I did appreciate all of the reviews I got in the mean time!


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